Now is not then...

You can take some inspiration from your past as long as you don't dwell on it or try to replicate it. That is what I have been trying to do. But there are some things that just don't compare to anything that existed back then. Last night I was up, all night, with my poor little guy who was just miserable with a cold. And it is funny how you can be up with your child when they are sick and not even think twice about it. You can wish that you were sleeping, but normally I would have been just miserable trying to stay awake. But when those little pieces of you need you... it is like a switch turns on and makes you a hundred times stronger. 

I mentioned in my last post about wondering if I still had a passion for something... that it seemed like a lot of my passion had gone by the wayside lately. But now I wonder if that passion is still the same, it just feels like so much less in the face of the unbelievable passion you have for your children.  Anyone who has a child knows how it is, how it causes physical pain just to see them disappointed. Nothing in life prepares you for how you feel about those little people in your life. I don't want to live my life for my children only, but they are by far the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life. And how is something like scrapbooking supposed to compare with that? 

However, to give this challenge a legitimate attempt, I have spent the day thinking about what it is I really enjoy doing. As I was making babyfood for Gavin and toasting the squash seeds for myself, I realized I was having a lot of fun. I love using fresh ingredients to make good food. I will say I like to bake a lot more than I like to cook. But I love that accomplishment. And, I love using unusual and/or nutritious ingredients to make something delicious. So I am hatching an idea to see if I can integrate those passions into something other than making myself fat by baking things that I eat far too much of. I am going to see if I can get some other ladies interested in an ingredient dinner club. You pick a featured ingredient and then everyone hunts down a recipe for that ingredient. (Yes, I know it sounds like Iron Chef) I am hoping to find some people that might be genuinely interested. We'll see. 

But the nice thing about last night (and there wasn't a whole lot) is that I felt like it released me a little bit from this last challenge. It was like it was fate telling me, "You may not have much time or energy to indulge in a lot of your passions right now... but that is okay. Right now you have this awesome responsibility of watching over two small lives, making them safe, protecting them, teaching them, loving them. One day, far too soon, your life will be nothing but time to do your own thing. For now, it is fine to dedicate your passion to crayons, boo-boos, and baby dolls. Hold that small child in your arms, love them tirelessly, live every moment... scrapbook it later."

Cheryl